HELP!
My Son Needs A Haircut

Top Ten excuses given to escape
a much needed haircut:

10. It provides more cushion under my football helmet.
9. I'm not in the Air Force yet!
8. I have this school play where I need long hair for my character.
7. I'm too tired.
6. I can still see!
5. You just see it when it's messed up.
4. This is how they wear it on "Twilight".
3. I'm having my picture made with the guys next week.
2. I'm growing it out to give to cancer victims.
1. My friends don't have to get their hair cut!

ASK GREG . . .

Question: Hey Greg, your car is like...really small (Toyota Yaris) , what's up with that? Shelly M.-Fort Smith AR

Answer #1-Yea, when I bought it, it actually came with a helmet!

Answer #2-Oh, I was cleaning out my truck and found this car in the glove box.

Answer #3-Well, it's the only vehicle I could fit in my carry-on luggage.

Answer #4-We went to McDonalds last year and I found this car in my happy meal!

Answer #5-As part of Toyota's recall program, they took two-thirds of my car back

Back to School: Dictionary for Optimistic Students

DETENTION: After School Enrichment opportunity
PARKING FEE: Economical automobile real estate investment
CAFETERIA: Luxurious nutrition and dining center
DEAN OF STUDENTS: Recognized leader in student guidance
FINAL EXAM: Cognitive growth analysis
TEXT BOOK: Resource for intellectual simulation
DESK: Temporary residence for personal enlightenment
LOCKER: Secure location for personal items
HALLWAY: Access point to enduring truths
COMPUTER LAB: Mulitiple online information portals

The Deal

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it." After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...." To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"